[ERRATUM: In chapter 15, 'comtinued' is supposed to be 'continued.']
In the following days, I noticed that Mr. Krabs has been
acting differently. He's being a little too nice lately by giving me twice the
pay I receive when he's usually a cheapskate. I have no idea at all why he's
doing this. Just yesterday, he reprimanded me for visiting the Chum Bucket
regularly. Eugene is one heck of a weirdo bipolar...
After work, he called me over to his office. Bob went ahead
to home, as usual, tired from a day's work. He still has to feed his pet snail
Gary.
"Why do you think am I being so nice to you,
C'ren?"
I did not reply.
"That's because you have to stay loyal to me, and me
alone. You are my moneymaker, so it's only fair that I pay you well even if I'm
usually a cheapskate. That's just how things go. And promise me that you will
never, ever visit the Chum Bucket again!"
"Or else what? If you fire me, what will happen to your
business? You said it yourself that I am your moneymaker, and thanks for paying
me well. But if I leave, I will always be able to find another job anyway. I
just chose to apply here because I want to work with Bob. He's the first friend
I made when I got here. Bob may be able to make perfection, but who is
competent enough, or more competent than ME, to be a cashier? If you bring back
Ward, he will drive away your PAYING customers and you will go back to your old
life. The giant anchor home you're having built on top of a hill with a
panoramic view of Jellyfish Fields will stay as just a derelict, useless
framework."
"Good point. But be sure that your purpose of going to
the Chum Bucket is, as you said, to reduce Sheldon to tears when there is
nothing left for him anymore. You have to pulverize his already crushed
spirit."
"But for me to stay loyal to you, you have to give me
the Krabby Patty formula, to allow me the knowledge of crafting such
perfection. Not even Bob would tell me anything."
"Why would I do that? What do you want with the Krabby
Patty formula? Isn't it enough that you are allowed to eat it? Besides, I've
banned Sheldon from all premises of my restaurant."
"You'll see. I know martial arts pretty darn well.
Better than Sandy does actually. Your years of training as a sailor are nothing
against my prowess. I will take over the Krusty Krab after I deal with you, if
you don't give me the formula. Either way, I will win. If you give me the
formula, nobody will get hurt. If you don't... I will still get it anyway. The
HARD way."
Eugene was dumbfounded. He froze as though in horror.
"You want to do this the easy way... or the hard way?"
I said as I readied my fists. "There's no way out for you. If you fire me,
your life is in ruins. The wisest thing for you to do is just hand it over to
me. If you refuse, I can give you a Texas wedgie up the 50-foot sign of your
restaurant."
"I'm getting a feeling that you actually are working
for Plankton," Eugene said. "And that you are just using me as a
stepping stone for some convoluted scheme."
"That's a bunch of baloney," I said.
The talk did nothing at all. So I just went straight home as
Eugene and I parted ways. But at the very darkness of the deep night, I snuck
out of the pineapple house as silently as I can and dug in the sand to get in
the anchor house. I punched through the timbers just like I did when I chopped
wood in taekwondo class. I was in the root beer cellar. I took a sip of root
beer first to quench my thirst.
I slowly went up the stairs and into Mr. Krabs's room. I'm
doing this because I've watched back in the land above that he allegedly keeps
the formula under his mattress. And my goal is, obviously, to grab it and
escape as fast as I can.
As I got in his room, he was fast asleep, his loud snore
echoing through the entire house. He was also singing this somniloquy/sea
chantey, about money as usual:
"Money, money, oh how I love thee,It's all about the kaching,the glim'rin' of greed that brings such glee,this bliss with ev'rything else unmatching,Coins, bills, bring them all in!Bring them all here and fill my cache!The sounds, the euphony of coins a-clangin'!There's nothing in life like swimmin' in cash!Jewels and gold, fine linen too!I'd give everything up just to get more of these!Bright as the North Star long before twenty two!My love for every measly cent shall never cease!"
While he was singing in his sleep, I quickly grabbed the
bottle with a scroll in it and sped away back to the pineapple where Bob and
Gary are both fast asleep.
I eagerly opened the bottle and unrolled the paper, only to
reveal these words:
________________________________________
HAHAHAHA! GOTCHA! But wait... there's more!If you're C'ren...You think you can get away with trying to steal my formula? You may be smart, you may be pretty, an ideal woman for most men, but money is where my heart is, and money alone. I'm over Mrs. Puff. I can't believe I spent a lot of money on her.If you're Sheldon...You think I would let the formula just stay under my mattress, right? I'm never telling anyone where the formula is! Or maybe I will. I'll tell you what, I burnt it because a copy of it is of no use to me. The formula? I've memorized it by heart. There's no way you can force the formula right out of me or Bob, my most loyal employee, or even Pearl my daughter, who doesn't really care about my business enough to even get to know the formula.Argh! Captain Eugene Krabs
________________________________________
I read both because this might reveal something important
about how to get the formula. Now, I have a new plan from this. Maybe I don't
have to force Mr. Krabs at all. Maybe I can ask Pearl a favor to help me with
my plan. It's the least she can do for helping me meet Justin, my idol and my
hero.
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