Chapter 19: Renovation 1

We started to work on the renovation when Sunday came.

"First things first," I said. "We have to refurbish the entire restaurant and give it a good theme. I mean, what the hell is the theme of this restaurant? Underwater? Boring! This place needs some pizzazz."

"Pizza?" Mr. Krabs said.

"No," I replied. "I meant pizzazz. All this place has is 'zzzz.' Pizzazz means liveliness."

"But isn't this place lively enough? I don't need no stinking renovations," Mr. Krabs said.

"Let's just do this," I said to the girls and Bob. "Bob, you get Mr. Krabs out of here and keep him entertained. Go jellyfishing with him or something. Find some common ground. Play a board game. 

Anything. Just get him out of here first so that we can renovate this place. We girls can do the renovating."

"Okay then, now that the boys are out of here, what do we do now?" Pearl asked.

"Let's improve the lighting of this place. Look. It's so dreary and dingy. Just like the Chum Bucket. Next, we have to repaint this place. The timbers are starting to rot. Let's make this place more fun to eat in. We also need more seating capacity. Now, go!"

As we were about to start, Ward passed by.

"What do you think are you doing? Allow me to help and I'll spruce up this place more."

"Okay then," I replied. "I heard that you're a really good artist."

We worked all day and night. I smoothed out some split timbers and painted them with a fresh new coat of varnish. I also put some new pendant lights above the corner tables and added some paintings by Ward. Pearl bought everything I asked her to buy just as I said, such as a new flat-screen plasma TV, tables and chairs, a cutting-edge cash register, and state-of-the-art kitchen appliances. The other girls were arranging the furniture while I was reconstructing the foundation of the restaurant and helping some hired workers make the new story of the Krusty Krab that will help accommodate even more customers.

We were all tired that day, panting heavily for breath as if we just finished another marathon.

"C'ren..." Pearl said. "We're tired... but the place sure looks a lot better now."

Indeed it did. The once-rotting, moldy timbers have been made new again with a fresh coat of lacquer and now has a fresh, lighter shade just like blonde alder. The boat counter has been replaced with a marble one with a base that exudes a hot pink light. The kitchen is now platinum-colored and has been placed into the 22nd century, much more cutting edge than the Chum Bucket's lab-like kitchen. The chairs have been transformed from what looks like drab boat debris to comfortable cushions that people would love to lounge around in. The corner tables have been made more intimate by being placed on raised platforms that go side by side in the restaurant. Those tables are perfect for dates especially because they are underneath light yellow pendant lights with pink shades. Usually, it would not be impressive to take a date to the Krusty Krab just like what Justin did (but it was impressive for him because he is The Biebs. No one else can get away with doing that.) There are TV's on both floors to keep customers entertained. The restaurant transformed from being a dingy fast food chain that serves great food to an intimate, welcoming restaurant that serves scrumptious delicacies.

Bob went back eventually. He was tired and had dark circles around his eyes.

"Ugh... I just dropped Mr. Krabs home. And this place looks great... Good job..."

"Thanks, but are you all right?" I asked. "What's the matter with you?"

"It's just that... Mr. Krabs..."

"Lemme guess. He's not a very easy person to entertain," I said.

"Ugh..." Bob said as he passed out and started snoring after a few minutes. He fell asleep on the floor.

Pearl was still there. She decided to rest on one of the bean bags in the lounging space in Mr. Krabs's newly-renovated office.

"Oh, and before I forget... this is the formula to a Krabby Patty," she said as she gave me a paper. "I decided to write everything down because I suck at memorizing things."

I read the paper.

~KRABBY PATTY RECIPE~

INGREDIENTS

2 tbsp. finely chopped onion

2 tbsp. finely chopped celery

4-6 tbsp. vegetable oil

1 tsp. thyme

1 lb. frozen imitation crab meat, (defrosted and finely chopped in a food processor)

3/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs

1 tbsp. Dijon mustard

2 tbsp. mayonnaise (plus 1 cup for dipping sauce)

2 eggs, lightly beaten A pinch of salt and pepper (to taste)

3 tbsp. ketchup (for dipping sauce)

1 cup of love (very important!)

PROCEDURE

1. Sauté onions and celery in 1 tbsp of vegetable oil. Add thyme, lower the heat, and cook until the onions are translucent.

2. In a large bowl, mix the crab meat, sautéed onions and celery, bread crumbs, Dijon mustard, mayonnaise, egg, salt and pepper to taste. Stir to combine.

3. Shape into rounds by using a small ice cream scoop, then gently pat flat.

4. Heat 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil in a large skillet. Working in batches (2 to 3 crab cakes at a time) place the crab cakes in a skillet and cook until golden brown, about 2 minutes per side. You may need to add more oil for the second and third batches.

5. Preheat the oven to 298 F. Transfer the crab cakes to the baking pan and bake for 10 minutes. The crab cakes can be kept in a warm oven for approximately 30 minutes, or they may be reheated at serving time. Serve with dipping sauce. Mix 1 cup of mayonnaise with 3 tablespoons of ketchup. Serve warm.

"Yes! This is it!" I said softly so as not to wake up Bob. He should not know at all that I actually know the formula already.

"Wait!" Pearl said just as I was about to leave. "That's incomplete! I did not write the secret formula because it's very easy to remember, and you're the only one who should know this. I need to protect the formula from everyone else, so I did not write it in case you dropped it. I don't really care if my dad says that you shouldn't know the formula. I trust you enough anyway. I want to be the most popular, most coral kid in school!"

Pearl whispered the secret ingredient to my ear so that no one else will hear it.

"Really? Is that it?"

"Yep," Pearl replied. "No kidding. You can even try and make it yourself. It is mixed into the patty batter right before you shape it into a circle. Now will I be the most popular kid in school?"

"You bet!" I replied. "Just tell all your friends to eat at the new and improved Krusty Krab and tell them that you designed the whole thing and that you know how to make Krabby Patties. Also, wear something that will be a surefire head turner. I'll shop with you again sometime and help you pick clothes that look great on you."

"Thanks, C'ren," Pearl said as she hugged me. "That means a lot to me." A smile drew on my face because I already know the secret formula. This is going quite smoothly. Now to head for the Chum Bucket and tell Plankton the formula.

This entire renovation, really, is just a front. It's just a way to punch a huge hole in Mr. Krabs's wallet. If Plankton already knows the secret formula, it would be easy to overthrow the Krusty Krab from there and begin the fulfillment of my plan.

I ran to the Chum Bucket eagerly and knocked on the door.

"Oh, hey C'ren," Sheldon said flatly. "It's been a while since I saw you. Where have you been all this time? Oh that's right. You are too busy working in the Krusty Krab to try to ruin my life further."

I got in the desolate restaurant and handed him the paper.

"That is the recipe to a Krabby Patty," I said. "But that's incomplete. I'll have to whisper to you the ingredient."

I whispered it to his ear.

"YES!" Sheldon screamed as he jumped around the entire room. My eyes simply followed him as several chairs and tables fell in his happiness. "Finally, after all these years, the recipe is finally mine! Thanks C'ren!" He started to laugh. Never had I seen him so happy in his entire life.

"So, did you finally get the formula?" Karen, the computer, asked. "Seem Sheldon? You just have to know when you need help."

"I can finally get to sleep again knowing that someone believes in me, and that I already know what Mr. Krabs has been hiding all his life," Sheldon said.

"Oh, and Sheldon," I said. "Just so you know, the reason why you can never really get the formula is because of this." I gave him another note. It was the note I got under Mr. Krabs's mattress.

"So he never really has it on paper all along?" he said. "Where did you get this?"

"Under his mattress," I replied. "Remember when you got a shopping list instead of the formula when you tried to break into that safe? Remember when you attempted to befriend Mr. Krabs again and reconcile with him when you started the Chumporium? Remember when you invited your whole family to help you get the formula? All you got were papers that are completely irrelevant to the formula, or worse, things like that. And on that same time when you ran out of the restaurant when you thought that your family was the secret formula to a Patty, Mr. Krabs said that the formula was hidden under his mattress, so I tried to steal it from there. And I still got a similar 'gotcha' note."

"Wait a minute," Plankton said. "How do you know all these things? You have only been here a few weeks."

"I'm from the land above," I replied. "I know that this place has an uncanny resemblance to a cartoon I love to watch, and as a matter of fact, this place could have been discovered many years ago already by another marine biologist named Stephen Hillenburg, who created the TV show based on undersea life that is so strangely like yours. I figured that out when I found out that all your names are almost exactly like those in the TV show. Your name is also Sheldon J. Plankton just like you do now, and so is Mr. Krabs's. Bob is Spongebob and Ward is Squidward."

"Huh?" Plankton said in an astonished manner. "I... I don't understand."

"Maybe you don't as someone from the ocean, but someday, you will understand. I don't even have the slightest idea about how this amazing coincidence came to be..."

[AN: I donut, er... don't... own the Krabby Patty recipe. I looked it up on the net. Source (remove spaces): http : / / killingtimewithijahamran . wordpress . com / 2009 / 07 / 20 / krabby-patty-recipe /]