[AN: In the line, "So, did you finally get the formula?" Karen, the computer, asked. "Seem Sheldon? You just have to know when you need help.", seem is supposed to be see.]
The next work day, Mr. Krabs was mouth agape as soon as he entered the newly-renovated Krusty Krab. He was dumbfounded. He stood still and stayed so even if I have already snapped my finger in front of him.
I left him behind with Bob. He did not even call me to come back to the restaurant. He still froze there like a stone statue, but I'm not exacly sure about the reason why. It could have been because he was amazed with how the restaurant looks, or the fact that we spent a whole lot of money on it.
I visited the Chum Bucket, and to my surprise, it was already clean and brimming with life. There were so many customers and there were long queues in front of Karen the computer, who takes their orders as Sheldon quickly serves them up.
"Oh, hey C'ren," Sheldon greeted me with a smile that I have not seen on him at all. "I heard that the Krusty Krab got a new renovation, which you funded, but why isn't he getting more customers?"
"I remembered that episode where Mr. Krabs did not get any customers because the closed sign was never flipped open. What I did was to put a permanent closed sign on the building and a fake flippable one that is invisible outside so that the customers will be fooled into thinking that the Krusty Krab is still closed and always will. And because they are already hungry, they decided to eat here out of lack of choice, and to their astonishment, what was once a sickening pile of radioactive sludge is now the best thing they've ever tasted. They then decided to spread the word, and that's how you got all these customers."
"Wow," Sheldon said. "Why didn't I think of that before? I can't believe I'm saying this, but thanks. Is there anything I can give you in return?"
"Nothing much for now, really," I said. "Besides, Justin can already breathe underwater thanks to Sandy."
Pearl suddenly barged in to the restaurant and acted all ballistic. She had a pink baseball bat with her, and she started to hit things, from tables, to chairs, thus breaking them beyond repair. Everyone else ran out of the restaurant.
"My leg!" someone shouted in the midst of this riot.
Sheldon and I just stood there, frozen in horror just like Mr. Krabs a while ago. She charged towards Karen and shattered her/its monitor and broke the circuits that make her/it function. Sheldon ran to the obliterated computer and embraced her/it like a man would when he sees his wife's corpse.
Flames started to ignite in the restaurant.
"You... you traitor!" Pearl shouted at me. She was with her friends. "I thought I would be the most coral girl in school after all the things you have asked me to do!"
"Why? What's the matter?" I asked. I did not expect her to be this angry. I readied my stance so that I can defend myself in case she decides to physically assault me.
"I told them that The Krusty Krab was already renovated for the better and that I can whip up a bunch of Krabby Patties, just as you said. I thought that would make me popular," Pearl replied angrily. "So, we went to the Krusty Krab and dad was standing still behind closed doors, unmoving. Bob was eating a Krabby Patty while trying to awaken my dad from his trance. The store sign said it was closed. That's really weird because the Krusty Krab would obviously be open during lunch break, when he would earn the most. They made fun of me for that and they decided instead to eat at the Chum Bucket. I knew something was going on, so I barged in here and found you talking to him!" She pointed to Sheldon.
"Sure, I may not really care about the business, but I do care about my reputation, and I don't want to be known across school as the daughter of a businessman who went bankrupt! I thought you are a friend," Pearl said. She started to cry as she attempted to slap me. I blocked her immediately and flipped her heavy body down to the ground.
"You are such a crybaby fatass," I said. "You are so gullible. I'm not going shopping with you! It's not that anything will look good on your overweight body. Now, get out of this restaurant before I maim you to bits! I work here now! Try as you might, the Krusty Krab will be closed for eternity. Just wait until the repo man gets all your belongings. Yes, I know that you like rock music, if that is what the dissonant garbage is called. You and your poser friend Bob! I found rock magazines under his mattress and a scrapbook with a picture of you and him in a Stingray 5000 concert. While Sheldon here used to be miserable about his life of bitter failures, all you would do is whine about not being a spoiled brat. If you only knew how rough my childhood was, and yet I'm still alive and bubbly as ever."
"So what's the plan?" Sheldon asked me as Pearl and her friends left the restaurant.
I saw through the debris of the Chum Bucket a man acting like a snail after he got bitten by a stray snail. He was just crossing the street like a normal guy just finished with his lunch break and about to get back to his office when a stray hungry snail bit his hind side. He started to act differently just seconds after.
"Let's get that snail and examine it," I said. "Perhaps I should tell you my plan now. Only you. I honestly don't get why villains have to disclose their plans to their victims. That's why they never win. But I will make a difference to that. Together we will build a kingdom from the debris of your failures. You will start anew. I will help you rebuild Karen the computer. And, if we can discover what is in the snail's maw that made a man act like a snail, maybe we can use that ingredient, modify its chemical properties, and add the stuff to your Chum Patties and control everyone's minds without tacky hats. Remember what happened when you tried that plan? It almost worked. The world will definitely be a happier place after this plan. There's going to be One Less Lonely Gurl."
"Yeah, but blasted rock 'music' ruined that plan for me," Sheldon replied. "Rock ruined those mind-controlling buckets I used."
"Actually, I hate rock 'music' too," I said. "Rock was what colored my troubled past with the most hideous of hues. That's why we need to make sure that the sound waves of rock don't affect whatever serum intoxicated that man."
"Finally," Sheldon said. "Someone like me who hates rock!"
[AN: The Black Rock Shooter... that emo fag? No fucking way. I wrote for Spongebob because it is a happy world. Twilight and Harry Potter fanfics are filled with emo pussies anyway. That doesn't change even if I absofuckinglutely love Twilight. Besides, colorful underwater worlds are fun.
Tata, you are a pathetic excuse for an awful blowjob. I'm not going to suck your imaginary dick OR delete my awesome, compelling, twisted story. EVER!
Coraline Slayer, My Immortal? That 'story' filled to the brim with emo pussies, wrist-slitting, and horrible fashion? No way. My story is for them preps, anti-goths, and swag kings, who are the coolest and most awesome of the universe.
Kaiya, huh? What is it you liked and didn't like? Simple Plan are just a bunch of emo fags who whine in every fucking song. Especially in their shitty album 'Still Not Getting Any'.
The thousandth son, yeah, right. Maybe you're just typing that and made it all up. Seriously dude, prove it. Who are the famous people your uncle has taught? And you again... Justin Bieber is the best, okay? He does not lipsync and use auto-tune. He has perfect pitch. Yes I'm for real. Edward Cullen is divine. And don't YOU dare diss the one person who stood up for me. Neva Say Neva, luv u gurl! Ur da best!
And to my toughest critic so far, Mr. Kokomo. You must have missed the point. It's Pearl who wants to be popular. And also, would a good guy exchange his daughter for riches? I think not. That's why the episode with the Chumporium is listed as one of the worst episodes of Spongebob. If you despise this story so much, leave this alone and go to what you think are better fanfics, you freaky dude with horrible taste in music. Metallica? Shit. Pure garbage. Not worth the piss on the ground.
Huh, I was only able to spell their God-forsaken names correctly because the freaks in the school I go to talk about him a lot that it's starting to piss the hell out of me. So much so that unfortunately, my teacher assigned ME to sit next to them in class. While they blabber on and on and on about those tattoo-filled, eyeliner-wearing monstrosities, all I could do is daydream about my prince on a white horse with a rainbow-colored mane, Justin Bieber. And yes I know I did something right. Thanks anyway.
READ, can you at least mind your spelling and grammar? You're 12, have written better than me, and yet you can't form coherent sentences properly? That's basically what my first reviews have been bashing me over, so I took action and started to take grammar seriously. You must have meant: "Okay, why am I wasting my time? Not sure. I'm 12 and I have written better stuff than you! FanFiction will NOT hesitate to ban you. JUSTIN FUDGIN BIEBER IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE FANDOM! HE IS A GAY FAG! PLUS, IT IS AGAINST THE GUIDELINES TO USE A REAL, UNHISTORICAL PERSON." Oh yeah, the reason you're wasting your time is because you don't have a fucking life. If you hate this fic so much, then GET OFF!
For my other readers, sorry for the lengthy AN but I just replied to my flamers.]