Chapter 26: Spoiled Patties

Because of the continuing hysteria, people continued to buy food from us. One day, I noticed that someone was eating a spoiled Krabby Patty. Sheldon must have accidentally given him that patty, and since he was so desperate to eat, he ate it anyway. Instantly, he was sent to the hospital. Not even the health inspector gave a damn anymore because he himself had no choice but eat in The Chum Bucket or die. There is no such thing as sanitary food for desperate people like them.

"Tell me, C'ren," Sheldon said. "Why are you doing this? I know I'm evil and all, but isn't this going a little too far?"

"Not even far enough," I replied.

"Why? All I really wanted was to steal that formula. All I wanted is a competition against an erstwhile friend. I don't want this! Not at all! At first this power and seeing all the miserable people desperate for food is appealing to me, but no longer. Just look at that guy who got poisoned by a spoiled patty!"

"Enough!" I shouted at him.

"What's the use of having a restaurant if people don't even enjoy the food I serve them because it makes them ill? Remember that time when I used to be a failure? I remembered that poor rat. No matter how much I earn from this, if the food will make my customers sick, there's no use for my money. That means they'll eat my food less."

"Aren't you forgetting that the only food source in this town is from us? Soon the whole world will eat only Chum Patties!"

Sheldon was frozen quiet after I said those words. He didn't really know how to react. I'm starting to notice that he's already changing. Usually, he would react with an evil laugh to anything that relates to world conquest and him being king, but no longer. Perhaps he is already starting to figure out my grand scheme of things. I have a good idea of how intelligent Sheldon is, starting with just the mere fact that he could invent all sorts of crazy stuff in a matter of a few minutes.

"Oh yeah," he said flatly. "But what's the use of conquest if there is no more to rule?"

"That will never happen. Having fed one customer a spoiled patty is really nothing much," I said. "Remember that food replicator you invented? That was just your forgivable mistake."

"But what if..."


"What if we can also find use for spoiled patties?"

"Oh!" I said as an idea suddenly sparked into my mind. "Back in the land above, I also watched an episode where Mr. Krabs got sent to the hospital. Do you remember that time when the Krusty Krab got a re-opening?"

"Uhh... was it that time when he was giving away free toys and letting people watch a movie that hasn't even shown in the theaters yet?"

"Yep, that one," I replied. "But when he ate the spoiled patty, he got sick. If we actually serve spoiled patties to customers, you are right. That will do this business no good. So what were you saying about making use of spoiled patties?"

"You do realize that the rabid snail lived in a dumpster behind the Krusty Krab, right?"


"Perhaps a spoiled Krabby Patty could be the secret to world conquest. Perhaps a spoiled Krabby Patty is the missing link. If a fresh patty can cure hypnosis, perhaps a spoiled patty can induce it. All that needs to be done is to weaken the factors that can make it fatal and strengthen its hypnotizing factors. If it is enough for a snail to turn rabid and make a man act like it when its DNA gets into the man's bloodstream, there should be a way this same principle can apply to humans."

"What?" I paused for some time as I tried to contemplate the things he said. I did remember that the snail lived in a dumpster, and the only way for it to survive would be to eat discarded patties. The patties must have caused its genes to mutate, but the effects weren't as fatal, perhaps because snails have a different digestive structure from humans.

[AN: I haven't updated in a long time because I needed to focus on my life. I just made it to the cheering team, so I have less time for this, but I'm never dropping this despite writer's block that has been affecting me lately! I also got a new boyfriend, Charlie Backer, a half-Norwegian football player in my school, who is also my new beta-reader. He loves football but has a sensitive side to him. I'm fortunate enough to actually meet a great guy who is actually a Belieber and hates rock. It's rare to find big, muscular guys who are like that. It takes a real man to be a Belieber. It is through this fanfic that he will let that sensitive side out with me. I love you, Charlie! I am your angel! Thank you for telling me to never let the flames of hell burn my persistence to pursue my dreams! Together we shall write this fanfic! And, no, he's not gay. He's perfectly straight and sensitive just like what a perfect man should be.]

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