Chapter 21: The Rabid Snail

We went to the same spot where I saw the snail go to - behind the Krusty Krab, where there was a dumpster. It was a hideous snail with huge, bloodshot eyes, a faded brown shell, and sharp teeth. It was unusually huge for its species.

It looked at me with piercing, voracious eyes. It bared its teeth and charged forward, readying itself to take a bite from my leg.

"Stand back, Sheldon! Let me handle this!"

"Neptune-dammit. Why does a woman always have to fight my battles for me? If only I was taller... and more muscular..." Sheldon muttered under his breath as I defended myself.

As the snail opened its mouth to try and sink its venomous fangs into my shin, I lunged to the back of the snail and kicked its shell before it could even turn back and bite me. It fell to the ground and part of its shell cracked as foam started forming on his mouth. I tore off a tassel from the pink hair ribbon I was wearing and used it to tie his mouth so that it can't open to the fullest. I tied the tassel as tightly as I can just so that we have enough time to place it in a cage while I help Sheldon rebuild the laboratory. After we placed the rabid snail in a cage, we had it stay in a corner while Sheldon and I rebuilt the Chum Bucket out of the smithereens that Pearl left it to become.

"Hey Sheldon," I said. "Here's some money. Go and buy yourself the stuff you need to make a Krabby Patty, I mean... Chum Patty. You can go around and sell some patties now that people know that this is the place to get patties. Why not start at the park? It's already afternoon, and most people would go there to unwind after a stressful day's work."

"Okay then," Sheldon replied. "But what about you? Can you actually rebuild everything on your own?"

"You know what, you have to learn how to relax," I said. "You are too uptight. Focus on your business; I'll focus on this."

"But how..." Sheldon muttered.

"Hey, BOYS!" I shouted as I called a legion of construction workers to help me work on the site.

Mr. Krabs walked by and saw me in the construction site.

"I knew it, C'ren," Mr. Krabs said. "I always knew you were a traitor."

"I've never really been loyal to you at all," I replied. "I was just using you for something more important."

"Sheldon?" Mr. Krabs replied. "But why?"

"Why should I tell you? But anyway, you'll see eventually," I replied. "Now off with you and get lost, you blasted, cheapskate barnacle head!" I kicked Mr. Krabs very hard on his shin and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground and saw rotating and revolving stars above his head.

"Okay boys, back to work!" I said as I turned back to them.

"Now, put the heart sculpture in that corner over there," I pointed.

"The pink in that area needs to be a bit brighter," I said.

"Dude, I don't think Sheldon is actually going to like this," a worker said. "You're totally girling up his business." I pulled up the sleeve of my lilac shirt and raised a fist at him.

"Just do as I tell you," I said. "PINK IT UP!"

"Whoa, she's flipping out!" a worker whispered to the ears of another.

"I heard that!" I shouted.

The two workers painted more quickly as soon as they saw me. No longer do they look at me to ogle at my external beauty but fear strikes into their hearts at the sight of me. In fact, I like it that way. I used to live in such fear as a kid, but this is just my way of getting back at the world who bred me to misery! Thank Neptune I have been brought here in the first place, to a surreal world far, far away from the land above.

As for Sheldon, he's already a happier person; happy enough for me to have the power to start manipulating him...

[AN: Ignorance Your New Best Friend, I did NOT quote the exact lyrics. Also, I don't give a shit if some of my lines actually resemble some of those damned lyrics. I don't even listen to those songs, so all that is a pure coincidence. I also compared Justin Bieber lyrics (Pray) to your songs and found that When It's Time is just about Billie Joe obsessing over some chick and having no other life besides her, Last Night on Earth is just cliché, So Far Away is just about an emo pussy (Synyster GAYtes, get it? In fact, that was actually his original stage name before he became Synyster Gates...) crying over another emo pussy (The Rev) who died due to his own doing (drug addiction), Warmness on the Soul is just about a man going lovey-dovey over some woman's green eyes (oh shit, I have green eyes!), A Little Piece of Heaven is just fucked-up and downright offensive to women, and Demolition Lovers is the serenade of a man who wants to die in a hail of bullets with a girl. Just... what the fuck? Meanwhile, Pray is a song about the problems of society and is an amazing one. The rock stars are just getting it on with their groupies in some STD-infested hot tub. Also, Hayley Williams is only 5'2, too short for a woman to be considered gorgeous. Phu-leez, even Bieber is taller than her. Amy Lee is just some goth chick who inspired the worst writer of the world: Tara Gilesbie.

Mr. Kokomo, this is my story, and I do whatever the fuck I want with it.

Kaiya, I fucking hate Lynyrd Skynyrd. That's all Billie Joe and I actually have in common.

icearrows1200, let's try... you're a savage nincompoop that should get off this fanfic if you feel in the depths of your heart such profound animosity for it. Immature is spelled with two m's, and vocabulary is spelled with the l after the u. Learn to spell correctly like real authors do.

Oh Ok, I was not writing an offensive AN. I was just stating the truth. If they got offended, so be it.

Zoids Fanatic, beta read your face or quit writing your pieces of baloney on my reviews list. Please. Where to start... PIECE, not PEICE... where, not were... ashes, not ashs... Justin, not Justian... freaking, not freaken... Bieber, not Beiber... as, not at... advice, not advise... (advice is a noun; advise is a verb). I know what a CD player is, you idiot, and I absofuckinglutely LOVE The Backstreet Boys! and finally, you're... NOT your. Twice. Know the fucking difference. The last your, at least, is used correctly.]